My little girl is growing up so fast.

Our baby girl started middle school last week.  She is really enjoying it.  I am proud of her and glad that she is really having a good time.  I am still wanting to do some stuff with my Arduino and Raspberry Pi units but haven’t really felt up to it.  I got a slew of sensors for when I finally have the energy and feel like focusing on a project.


Microcontroller ideas… if only I felt like doing them.

When my head doesn’t feel like its going to explode and I get a break from my MS fatigue (which isn’t often) I continue to try to decide on a project to do to work on keeping my skills up and hopefully improve my memory.

I was going to do a little Android application for a couple friends and I all who would like to see a easy to use program for keeping our notes and so forth ready-in-hand for doctor visits.  I haven’t given up on that idea but have put it on the side at the moment until I can brush up on my Java skills.

In the meantime I am still messing around with my Raspberry Pis.  I have 2 of the Raspberry Pi 3 units and 2 of the Zero Wireless units.  I like them because I can code GPIO simply enough via Python which is my current language of choice.  In addition to the Raspberry Pis I also have an Ardunio UNO and a BeagleBone Black which I can code in C on.

I really want to make box with one of them to monitor our fish tank for stuff like PH levels, temperature, and maybe have a fish cam as part of it.   I saw a good schematic / sketch online the other day for a temperature sensor I want to try out as well.  Bought a cheap little stand along wireless chip that I can  prototype using a breadboard for.

I have plenty of ideas, just not enough “feel good” time to do them.  I

One of those moods.

Thinking about replacing WordPress with a home brew blog tool. Maybe a little something to try and get my brain working.

I haven’t felt well this week week and have spent more time on the bed than off it.   I am in that phase again where I really miss work but at the same time how I am health wise at the moment reminds me why I am not able to.

Maybe if I code a little bit I will feel better.

Programming and MS Cog Fog

I have mentioned before one of my bugger Multiple Sclerosis issues is quick recall and short term memory.  As I mentioned while I am on long term disability attempting to get better one of the things I have been trying to do is keep my skills fresh and pick up a few more.

For most of my years programming I have always kept reference guides around to help with syntax.  I think it is a pitfall of having worked with dozens of programming languages over the years.  With each new language you focus on, that is one more that you have to keep separate from the others you know.

The problem is that I have those darn recall problems so I am more dependent that ever on looking up correct syntax for whatever language I am using.   Concept wise I don’t have any problems.  I know how to work a problem, it’s just that I really rely on reference manuals now more than ever.

Rant about Android app development or I Hate Java.

I have been still trying to keep up and increasing maybe my coding skills.  I have been trying to focus more lately on Java instead of my Python fixation of late.

The main reason is for app development for some little hobby projects that I have thought about for old android phones I have laying around.

I have dabbled off and on since the late 90s with Java but mostly just enough to read Java code to an extent without.

Being a fairly old school PC programmer I still find myself stuck in procedural programming ways. Even within languages that I have used a fair bit of like VB.Net I would go out of my way to avoid OOP.

Of course Java is rooted firmly in Object Oriented Programming.  Just like C#, and C++ it builds on the foundation of procedure C code with OOP concepts.

The funny thing is that I understand OOP. I do get the draw. I understand why Encapsulation, Method Overloading, and the very idea of Objects sharing properties and methods makes sense, it’s just that taking an language like C that I was comfortable with procedurally and putting OOP concepts on top never sat right with me.

I don’t have the same issue with languages that were built from the ground up without harking back to a prior procedural language. OOP in Python and Ruby work and feel natural to me.

But I digress, the problem is that Android is fairly locked to Java. Sure there is Kivy and the Pyonic Python app that all you to run Python scripts within an app, but by the very nature this leads to slow code being interpreted instead of compiled code.

So here I am trying to flesh out my Java knowledge all the while not really liking the language but doing so because it is about the only real option.

App programming

Can’t sleep tonight so I am messing with App creation.

I am not a fan of Java.  I can get around on it but unlike Python, VB.NET, PHP and C it just isn’t my thing.

Of course as an Android user the house is built on the altar of Java.  There are alternatives like using Kivy or encapsulated Html within Sketchware. None of them really so what I want.

Since my coding these days is just to try to keep my mind fresh and hopefully pick up a new skill here and there really all I want is something straight forward.  The apps that I write aren’t going to be anything useful other than to me as experiments so I really am not concerned with performance, style or whatnot.

So the Kivy based Pyonic Interpreter is what I am focusing on mostly. It can do a few things but I have had import issues with it.

Belief systems

I find it hard to talk about religion. While I often meditate on spiritual things, as a general rule I avoid organized religion.

I am not an overly social guy, and also tend to not hold a lot sacred so to speak.  It’s not to say that I don’t have plenty of rules or principles, I do.   And I relate as a Christian of Baptist denomination as it was my upbringing.

However I tend to be imperial in logic, liking to back my beliefs. Whole I whole heart lying believe in God, I tend to believe he creates via rules he set forth in nature.  I have no spiritual problem believing that man adapted over thousands of years.  I don’t say evolved as to me there are still too many missing links to believe that.

As far as philosophy goes, I try my best to follow Buddhism.  No Buddhism isn’t a religion, it is a philosophy which quite honest I find fits okay with Christianity.  No I do believe in reincarnation or such.  My beliefs on the matter are purely that the Four Noble Truths and Eight fold path when followed just as a philosophy doesn’t contribute my biblical upbringing.

I have mentioned before that I tend to be Agnostic in many ways, or Deistic in others.  Agnostic is not atheism, far from in.  Atheists are usual just as stuck in there beliefs as other religions.  No Agnostics believe that there is a creator but he is unknowable. Nature proves intelligent design, but we tend to have problems putting faith in what we can’t see or prove.

As far as Deistic, I find it is somewhat similar.  However it is likened to a Watchmaker. God created his creation and doesn’t intervene with his creation.  Funny tidbit a large number of the Founding Fathers were Desist.

I often have trouble on how to express my beliefs to my daughter.  I want her to come to her own beliefs but I still want to impart wisdom to her.  The problem is that I don’t want her to ever look aback and think she believes what she believes solely because that was how she was raised.  Yes just like my parents did for me I want to set the moral framework for her, but I want her to look back and know she believes what she believes based on her heart and mind and not just the fact it was all she knew.

I do pray, I pray to God, and often Jesus.  Partly because I was raised that way, partly because regardless of the prior story it does feel right.  I don’t pray to another deity.  If you ask me on the street I will say that I am Christian.  While I have agnostic beliefs, I was still raised in a Christian home and my values are Christian.

Of course that leads into what is a Christian. I would say very, very few people live as true Christians.  Sure they go to Church, but I don’t think tending Church once or twice a week makes you Christian, just a church goer.  Do you live by Jesus teachings, I mean really live by them? I can’t say that I know many if any who actually do.  Quoting scripture and being able to sing a hymnal isn’t the same.

I hope that I haven’t offended anyone too much.  I don’t apologize for what I believe, no more than I feel anyone else should have to as long as their beliefs are not hurting others.  In the end we all met our creator and have to answer for ourselves.

Had a rough couple of days thanks to chronic migraine attack and the lovely nausea that comes with it.  Had been trying to stay away from  E. R. but as I was going into the third day of them I gave up on that effort.

MS wise everything about the same, memory gaps, fatigue and whatnot.  I don’t fret the balance stuff much these days as I can manage that by leaning on stuff.  I bet you could spot MS suffers by how close they hug walls, it’s my Spider-Man skill these days, second nature.

I see the MS Neurologist in a few weeks.  Doubt much will happen as I haven’t had any new MRI since late last year.  I don’t feel like my MS medicine is a right fit for me but I don’t have the guts to question my MS Neurologist about it.

Generally speaking I have more MS Exacerbations than relapses if I understand correctly.  While my symptoms get progressively worse from time to time, I haven’t presented new symptoms.  New symptoms equals relapse. The thing is though when it’s you having the Exacerbations new symptoms or just increase of old ones really doesn’t matter.

I have read other people feeling the same way.  I guess it’s like you have a wound that gets band-aided but just keeps getting reopened.  Sure you might not have a new wound but that doesn’t mean that the band-aid resolved the original wound.

The more I read about MS and the more I fight it myself the more of a mystery it is to me. Of course reading other people’s stories and relating just brings more to light.  You might not really think much about muscle spasms and keep it to yourself so you don’t seem like a hypochondriac when you visit the doctor, but what really is important to mention and what isn’t?

I worked in IT all my adult life. Data and tracking information has been second nature to me, so trying to study about my illness via the Internet has only been natural.  The problem is with MS having so many quirks it is hard to really gather valid information to apply to your own condition.

For me memory has been my biggest worry. I lost a Grandmother who was the sharpest person I knew to Alzheimer’s. Everytime my wife or daughter mention full conversations or events and I don’t recall them and get upset with myself I think of my Grandmother’s decline.  MS and Alzheimer’s are different but share some similarities enough that it worries me.

I don’t drink or do drugs, never have because I always want to be at the cockpit so to speak.  I never understood the fascination of blacking out or being forgetful on purpose. I don’t consider myself smart but I do like to be able to at least pretend to be of at least normal intellect, and I figure it best to not do intoxicating activities partly because I don’t handle moderation very well, and partly because I want to ick out whatever couple of I. Q. points I can.  Having a family that raised me to avoid those activities also was a huge factor.

So of my symptoms, I can handle not being able to walk a tight rope, or even a moderately straight line.  I can handle the fact that I am a grown man that has a problem with drooling.  I can deal with not being nearly as strong as I wish.  Physical stuff really has never been a passion for me, other than the couple of good years when I ran in 5K races.

No, it’s not being able to think straight, or recall well.  It’s not being able to remember some of the awesome moments of my daughter’s life.  The little moments that escape me.   It’s the feeling I have had when I am in a parking lot and not just looking for my car, but completely drawing a blank on where I am, and what I was needing to do.

It’s the constant worry of if I will have a Migraine attack.  Will I be able to function if I do. Always worrying in the back of my mind what might trigger one.

It’s the fact that I can’t stand to be in the heat. It’s not just a displeasure but it really makes me physically sick.  Sure everyone else may feel like spring weather but between 75 to 80 I know that I am going to have issues.

Well I have vented more than I wanted, as usual.  While I don’t have a lot of pain outside migraines and nausea, my hands aren’t as good for long Journaling like I try to do, so instead I blog to the world, but that’s the way of modern humans isn’t it.  We pound on a small screen to send our personal notes around the world because we can’t stand the bother of handwriting anymore.

Funny thing is that while my handwriting is chicken scratch to most, at least it’s my chicken scratch. I guess emoj are the new chicken scratch maybe?


Keep meaning to post more on here but then fail to do so.  Today was an up and down day. Early I had a migraine but finally it faded at noon. Went to the movies with the girls and right as the movie hit the migraine came back.

For the first fifteen minutes of Wonder Woman I had those stupid visual auras and couldn’t see. Finally it cleared up again, at least until tonight and it hit yet again along with nausea , argh.

I got Just Dance 2017 for Dani.  She was going crazy over it until she wore herself out. Fun watching her but I think it added to my nausea seeing her jump around so much.

In other news I haven’t kept up on my Python and Java studying like I told myself I would.  I really want to get focusing on it again on the days I feel at least half alive.

MS wise since my last posting I had another relapse that lasted for a week.  I think that I had over done it the days leading up to it.

My fatigue is still bad a lot of days. I am on Adderall to help but I don’t want to take it every day as it adds to my problems sleeping.  So far the biggest benefit is that I don’t find myself getting as sleepy when I drive.

Well I should be trying to sleep. I can tell though that I am going to have a hard time doing so.